boku no namae wa joker des~

The first time I watched Dark Knight was almost a year ago, and during the time, I dun feel much bcoz I took it as entertainment and watching it for fun coz evybody's seen it but me. This is the 2nd time I watch this movie again, few days ago, smhow my judgements were difrent now, which I would like share my views here.

If you feel that Joker is a villain, Batman as an American hero, Alfred is the friend to that American hero (a british)...you're right, and wrong! Haha. Batman is NOT a hero in Dark Knight at all. Eventhough the movie title point directly to Batman..he isnt the "hero" in my eyes ANYMORE.

I'm just training myself to be more "realistic" (not meaning that I duwana be like the neo-noir Tim Burton with his dark background and full of mystery sort) But I guess I just want a brighter background and less comical. Duwan always be in Batman's hiding ground. I think this movie really show the world who exactly is this "Batman"

I just wana talk about Batman and Joker here..

Harvey Dent is a mirror to this capitalist political world who is finaly disappointed with the ugly world of politic, and under the advise of Joker, he FINALY became a "Pejuang Rakyat" (ppl who fight for the right of the citizen)

Batman is teh alterego of this human call Bruce Wayne..is a Capitalist who is very powerful in Gotham City.

Joker is NOT a villain or a terrorist! He is a PEOPLE'S HERO who fight like a gerilla. No need to pity those Gotham ppl who fell "victim" to Joker bcoz they are bastards who put money as top priority, plus they are Capitalist! When I see Joker attact Bruce Wayne's party, he is attacking the Capitalist. B4 taht, he also attacked the police and judge. For Joker (the people's hero) these police and judge are like the "wayang kulit" (shadow puppets) controlled by the Capitalists who rulez Gotham city (which is true!)

My friend was watching the movie with me at the time too when I mentioned abt Joker being a HERO. They asked me, how can I call him a Hero when he can murder a whole ferry full of ppl? Well...its bcoz they are Capitalists! And I guess I can see how selfish these ppl are also.

There are 2 ferry. One with normal citizens. The other is prisoners. How come the normal citizens are so selfish til can say they should blow up the ferry with the prisoners? What an easy desicion for them to make! For them, tehy have to live on so that they can continue having their Capitalist descendants. But for the prisoners, they were fighting and arguing...until come to apoint, one of them throw the key into the sea and that, in my eyes, they are leaving it in the hands of the Lord. They know that they are the victims of the Capitalist (create hardships of life to many ppl) and caused them to bcome criminals (I mean, how many ppl would bcome a criminal for fun anyways)

Joker's fight has frightened the Capitalists until Batman has to create a new weapon. This is the world of these godamn Capitalist --> WEAPONS. This is what I think why Batman didnt kill Joker, bcoz Batman needed Joker to test his weapon on. Without Joker, his weapon is useless and therefore canot make it into a profitfull business.

Then to why Joker dun work well with mafia.. Hey, dun forget that mafia are also from Capitalist. But just bcoz they are not official registered, thats why they are mafias. In the end, Joker killed all these mafias. If mafia is a crime, in this movie, so who destroyed these criminals? Police? Batman? No...Joker did. Joker's mission is damn big. He will destroy the Capitalist to the super core! Blowing up a hospital is not the meaning of lost of humanity, but its a symbol of destroying the Capitalists who "makan duit rakyat" (take citizen's money more than it should) and "makan RASUAH"

This film shows Joker at his best. And God bless Heath Ledger too. RIP. He has carried out the character who is one of the best HERO ever!

In Malaysia, its not much difrent from Dark Knight. I feel that UMNO is like the Capitalist. And PAS is the mafia. Najib is like Batman who wana be a hero to destroy those who disturbs his businesses. Batman with all his weapons and gadgets, isnt it same like him who always buy weapons? This movie can dedicate to Malaysia's geo-politic bcoz he is the "dark knight"

To Malaysians, we should take Joker as a Sensei. Learn his "perjuangan"...his fight. He fight the mafia first. We as the Rakyat, we attack pekida first then the police and judge then umno!

Especialy the chinese ppl should..how come other ppl thinking we so "goyang kaki" here just bcoz this ethnicity has conquered most of the lands and businesses in this beloved country we call Malaysia. But that will be in another story in another post later...

Ehhemm..Why so serious? ~>_<~

the real terrorists...

Israel is currently bombing women, children, religious centers and civilian neighborhoods in Gaza. Because their victims are Muslim, they think they can hide behind the "War on Terror" excuse.

What the hell?!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHMDUFRVQOg

Children should have the right to live without fear and hate...

Crazy dream staring Zacky V!! (no joke, this dream was crazy!)

Ok. Sleeping is one of my all time fave thg to do, and mainly is bcoz of some of my dreams which are kind of off the chains crazy. Start of the new year, I had one of the best dreams ever, thats why I wana write them down here! Serious! This latest dream of mine was one of my personal fav bcoz Zacky Vengeance was init!

(the following statement is a DREAM! I've never met Zacky V and there is NO WAY this dream is real)

Before I went to bed last night, I was watching my All Excess Avenged Sevenfold DVD especialy the music video "Seize The Day"...

Erg. This is embarassing, but REMEMBER, its a Dream, I can't control my dreams!

Ok..here goes~

Its about midnite, me and Zacky are sound asleep in bed. The setting is so beautiful, moonlight shining into our room from the big glass window next to the bed.

Zacky then wakes up and and looks over to the sound asleep me. He sits up and thinks for awhile. Then pull on his black hoodie jacket, black baggy jeans and Misfits cap and pull the hood over it. Before leaving, he stick a note on the mirror.

He lean over to me and kiss goodbye on my cheek. Then pull a black bandana over his face, until only his eyes show.

(like i said, its pretty much like Seize The Day music video))

Then Zacky grabs his baseball bat and rushed out of the apartment door. When he reached dwnstairs, M.Shadows, Synyster Gates, The Rev and Johnny Christ are waiting in their dark outfits. "You ready?" Shads asks.

"Yeah" Zacky says unhappily, as if regretting what he was about to do. "Lets just get this overwith..." Then they all go outside and pile into the car.

I heard the car screeching down the streets, I woke up and sit up in bed. I turn to my side and saw Zacky wasnt with me. "Where is he?" I said aloud and saw the note on the mirror Zacky left for me. I read it aloud : "Crystal, I know you dont want me to do it, and I really cared about you, but I have to. I promised the guys. Dont worry, this will be the last time I ever--" I didnt even finish reading it, I crumpled the note with a groan and ripped it up and threw it on the floor. I knew exactly what he was doing and I knew WHERE he was.

Johnny parked the car next to a drugstore and turned to the others, "Whats my role again?"

Shads rolls his eyes. "You watch. You know, for the police and shits."

"Man, why the fuck do I always gota watch??" Johnny complains, "You guys always get to do the fun shit and I always gota stare at the empty fuckin streets. Why?!"

Syn laughs, "Its bcoz youre the Johnny fuckin Christ."

The other laugh along, except for Zacky. "Can we we just do this already?" he grumbled, "I wana get this shit overwith..."

They all pile out of the car (except poor Johnny who grumbled to himself and peer around for unwanted visitors)

(REMEMBER this is a Dream...again...So of course it won't make sense in some parts. For example, its about midnite and the man is still working in the drugstore. Anyway...back to the dream..))

The boys burst through the door. Rev immediately look around the store and grab things and stuff them in his bag. Shads and Syn push the worker and begin kicking him. Zacky rushed to the cash register and busted it open with his baseball bat. Then he shove the money into a bag.
(Back to me.) I grab my car keys and get in the car. Then I started the engine and head towards the drugstore.

Shads and Syn finaly stop kicking the worker and rush to help Rev steal stuff THINKING that the cashier was dead from the many blows on the head. BUT he wasnt...without warning, the man pulls out a gun from his jeans and point it at Zacky (who was still putting the money into his bag) "FREEZE!!" the man screamed.

Without warning, i burst through the glass doors. I catched the man off guard and without hesitation, he aimed the gun at me and pull the trigger. I scream and fly back. Holding my chest and fall to the floor.

Zacky without thinking, tackles the man and start beating him repeatedly. The man, startled, drop the gun and put his hands over his face to avoid Zacky's blows.
Zacky took the gun and point it at the man's face, give an angry cry and blow the man's brains out. Then he turn to me and rush over to me. He held me in his arms and kissed my forehead. He looks up to the others who just stood and stared in shock. "Tell Johnny to start the car!" Zacky yelled, "We need to get Crystal to the hospital!"

The three just stood there.

"NOW!!" Zacky screamed pushing his palms on my wound trying to stop the blood flow.

"No way, dude." Rev said shaking his head, "If we take her to the hospital, then we'll have to tell em what happened..."

"SO??!!" Zacky wasnt thinking clearly. All he wanted was me to be okay.

"Yeah, that'll go perfect..." Syn said. Then he said in a sarcastic voice, "Yeah doctor, you see...we were robbing a drugstore and the cashier shot Crystal here. But please dont call the police on us!"

Zacky's face begin to turn red and he glared at Syn. "Get Johnny to start the car now!" He pointed the gun at Syn.

"Alright, dude, chill." Shads finaly pipes in.

They all piled into the car. Johnny sped off into the night.

Zacky kissed me. I could barely breathe and i couldnt keep my eyes open. "I love you, Zacky..."

(Gay, I know...but for the millionth time...ITS A DREAM!!!)

"You're gona be fine," Zacky said. He smiled to reassure me and tears streamed down his cheeks.

We reached the hospital. Zacky carried me in. The others followed.

(Unfortunately, I didnt make it. This next scene, is at my funeral...))

Everyone stood around my coffin. It was raining lightly and the sky was grey. Zacky stood in front of everybody, watching me being lowered into the ground. He removed his sunglasses and wiped his tears from his gorgeous green eyes.

Slowly people were leaving. Shads and Zacky were the last two to leave. Shads put his hands on Zacky's shoulder, "I'm sorry man, I realy am..." Then he walked away.

Zacky then drops some white roses on top of my coffin. And walked away...

Yep...That was my dream. Fuckin crazy as hell!!! But it was awesome...in a sad, sick kind of way...Leave a comment and tell me what ya think!!

Confession Booth

I believe in regret

I believe in self-sacrifice

I believe in free will

I believe in wrong and right

I believe in good and evil

I believe in God

But...

I don't believe in insane or sane anymore...

I believe that we are who we are, and we don't need more illusions over our heads, controlling our already short lives. I believe that the meaning of each individual life is to make his/her own meanings. To find the best way to live, to grow out of this world.

What I say next might confuse or anger some people. Whoever who read this post, please, listen first and try understand why I said it...

"You will never love someone/something more than you love yourself."

The reason why I said this is because I feel that Love is understanding. That when you love someone, you're actually attracted to him/her because it reminds you of yourself, or the things that you enjoyed. It is always You, this is how our minds are made.

The reason why this idea is not as bad as it sounds is becoz, even if you will only love yourself the most, only then you are able to love others the way they wanted to be loved.

Love is the easiest thing to get, but the hardest to lose.

He is back in my life, as generous as light and for the moment, the blocked moment of Solitude within me might be filled with fire and water again.

The Life they wanted You to have

You will be born fair and beautiful, into a happy religious home (questioning nothg), with 2 happy parents that never fight. You will eat healthy, and get plenty of exercise. Then go to school with happy teachers that enjoy teaching you. At a school with no violence, no cursing, no free sexual acts, and with other religious students. It should go on this way all the way up to highschool and in all these times, you won't have a serious girl/boyfriend and you must be happy and sin-free. After school, you will go to college. Then you'd choose a high-payin job (becoz money is the only way you're goin to be happy) You will finish college in about 25 or so. At this time, you start work. In your free time, you find love, have kids, and live in your big house with flawless religious happiness forevermore. Nothg bad happens, nobody learns, evythg is "perfect"...and nobdy knows difrent.

I feel like drowning when I wrote this. Like my weak withered arms can barely keep me floating. Salt water pours down my throat evy seconds. Weaker and weaker to fight anymore. Even if I know smbody who will jump down to save me, I'd still want to feel like I worth it. Worth their energy, am I worth saving. Maybe the world is showing me that they still cared...my luck I'd prolly pull them down with me.

But who knows? Maybe I'll see someone with a Life Jacket. All I know is, I have to learn to swim. So that I wouldn't always have to wonder if I'm going to be rescued or not.

*closes eyes and laughs quietly to myself**

What I truly feel abt Goth

Being Goth? Turning Goth? What is Goth anyway? Is Goth all about wearing black and everything? Or is it some kind of a cult or smthg influencing the young minds?? The question is, what am I turning into? I don’t know, it’s like a go with the flow situation…am I really a Goth? What's in a name anyway, quote Shakespeare "A rose with any other names smells just as sweet"...In the end is, all I know is that I’m not just a mere wannabe Goth, I don’t blunder blindly into any foolish acts that cuts over the edges. I know I wouldn’t. I’m just following my heart!

Many people would have gotten the wrong idea about goth, I duno when exactly I started to have certain interests on this and hence on my confidence somehow had boosted. Nobody understands what being me is all about, I am suffering inside for putting up a mask for the world to see. I know I am not a logical person, not tend to think within the black box. I tend to move towards the artistic point of view. I never met anybody who can really change my perspective on what my life is all about or gonna improve, not even until now. Nobody cared to release me from this invisible cage. They would just say that this “cage” is build by MY OWN hands…

Only if it’s that simple, my dear friend. The world will be with no war, no famine, no crime, no abortion, and God will smile down on the world with his godly smirk forevermore and bless us all with raining pizzas from the skies.

I don’t wear black all the time or talk about death everytime I open my mouth. I guess I’m just…DIFFERENT from everybody else in certain ways. Yes, eventhough I don’t wear BLACK to my class or to school, BUT I still get name callings and posed as a joke among people. Just becoz I’m “different”. But I don’t believe in changing myself just not to get being laughed at. It’s about me wanting to overcome myself and being who I wanted to be. I have something they do not have!! And I knew what it is; it’s smthg inside me that they lack. I know I would sound arrogant or whatever if I mentioned it here. But I think of it as a GOD’s blessing for me, it’s a gift from Him that I discovered myself^^

It’s ironic, I love many people around me, Mommy, my sis and my naughty kickass little cousins chien and jernie, my aunt Faridah and Bahri koko and my lovely grannies on both sides (God BLESS you all, I love you), and my close friends (those who do not make fun of me and call me nasty names)…but why am I feeling discontent? I’m such an ungrateful bard. But my problem is I can’t help meeting people who doesn’t understands what you are really into, no matter how strongly you wana make the point. It’s NOT a mere “style”, and it’s not about me hating my life. Not the “Haha I don’t care” tude. I wanna live my LIFE and wanna be different at the same time. I believe happiness is going to fit into the hole which is “YOU” and perhaps being a little Gothic trait in me can make me finally happy in my own sad little way ^__^

Censored evythg!!

Its not that I hate censorship, its just I have this negative feeling everytime I hear this word whenever I browse around for my favourite artsy stuff everywhere I go. And I’m def not a perv!! So does being Malaysian contributes to being conservative and all, does it EVEN apply now?

Why I brought this topic out suddenly? Its just coz I can’t stand it anymore I just had to write this down. Whenever there is a censored material, it means somebody else already chose and decide what I will receive, see/hear. Why couldn’t I get the advantage of making that choice myself? I feel that I should. The only thing that set my limit is “self-censorship”, which refers to my own judgements based on my inner conscience. But in this page, I’m referring to the public material censorship.

I think that everybody should have the right to communicate the way they wanted, and observe what they want. Censorship only exist coz some people has decided that they don’t want to observe certain material. That’s why they consequentially inhibit this observation from the public. Do they have the rights to begin with, your rights ends where mine begins?? Then why should they challenged people with prohibitions after all?

Why do I sounded pissed in my first post? It’s just an art illustration book from my favourite artist that I wanted, for God’s sake =_=! Is it THAT explicit?

Let me state an example. Do you believe our local TV shows never depicts sexually explicit materials? Your answer may vary due to difrent clarifications. Some would argue that these seemingly explicit broadcasts are accidental and those who wanted to view the show do so, and those who don’t want do not. Is it that simple?? I have a better idea for those who don’t want to or want to “avoid” viewing the material. Get rid of your TV. If you choose to watch TV, you will see these “accidental” materials.

TV stations cannot broadcast materials that is entirely acceptable, after all. Don’t you find it strange that some political commentary are not even censored in Malaysia’s media? “Dirty Politics” indeed. So why is some materials censored and others does not? This leads me to my next point.

I am a neutral person. I don’t believe in either appropriate or inappropriate materials. Not unless you caught your bf/gf, sis/bro, mom/dad, wife/husband (cats/dogs or your canaries…etc) reading some PORNO though, that is B.I.G turn-off!!! But what I meant here is the way everything is so judged upon by the seemingly angelic society.

How can we we let people determine what we observe based on their assumptions on what’s appropriate/inappropriate? People only judge based on what has historically been accepted. But this basis doesn’t satisfy my questioning mind.

When I say “historically”, I meant that people (past) classify reasonable basis on standards about various materials. Don't we all experience it now? It's also called social liberalization anyways. Its example is easy to find! The amount of clothes have dwindled down considerably. The public is somewhat become more and more accept to discuss about drugs, sex, etc. If this continues rapid, what is the point of having censorships anymore? The amount of material to warrant as inappropriate is now so damn limited. But still some people still wanted to lie and mislead the public, regulates them and censor -EVERYTHING-, especialy that royo artbook that I'm into grr.

Is censorship a law in Malaysia?? Can somebody tell me please?

I think our society doesn't need the goverment to regulate that massive censorship. Not too big it'll look so hypocrite anyways. If people are aware of the material's explicitness, they can either choose to support it or likewise. TV, wanted to supply for market demands, can choose not to show sexual material without bounded by the so-called regulations. Either way, the market still get what they want and the people happy too. But this current system of censorship in Malaysia, not everybody will get their demands met. There is ALWAYS some people who will decide for you.

Sounds like Democracy to me. So nice. I just hope that this page wil not get censored! =P